How to deal with manipulative people
Manipulation has many emotional, verbal, physical, and financial firms. It often starts with the best intentions; the manipulator wants to get something they need, whether power, money or a relationship with you. However, even if their intentions are good at first, the manipulator won't stop there. They will do anything to make sure that you give them what they want and then some; that's why it's essential to know how to deal with manipulative people in your life to stop manipulation from occurring in the first place.
Signs of Manipulation
Manipulative individuals often seek out others who are either too self-conscious or uncomfortable in their skin. These individuals look for vulnerability and take advantage of it, exploiting kindness and trust when they see it. Unfortunately, manipulation can occur without you even realizing it until you're already in a difficult situation that is highly emotionally charged. Let's take a look at some common signs of manipulative behavior that are easy to spot so you can avoid falling victim to a manipulator.
The first sign of manipulative behavior is constant criticism and put-downs. Sometimes these insults may be veiled as jokes or seem harmless enough, but if it comes from someone you care about—or even love—it's essential to confront them directly on your feelings rather than letting them continue taking potshots at your self-esteem. If a friend constantly makes fun of you for being too sensitive, consider that they might just be projecting their insecurities onto you.
Another common sign of manipulation is guilt-tripping, which occurs when an individual tries to make you feel guilty for doing something they disapprove of by playing on your emotions. This often happens when parents try to manipulate their children into staying home instead of going out with friends or staying in school instead of dropping out and getting a job.
Being manipulated can also occur when someone refuses to take no for an answer and continues pestering until they get what they want.
Dealing With Manipulators
Put a manipulator in their place,
The best way to deal with someone who manipulates you is to understand how they operate. Manipulators often have a specific pattern of behavior that involves giving mixed messages and showing inconsistencies in their reactions. This can make it difficult for others to figure out where they stand. The first step in dealing with manipulators is recognizing what they are doing and why you are so inclined to fall, victim. Are you willing and able to confront them? Are you an enabler, just looking for others' sympathy? Are there other factors involved in your relationship? If so, consider dealing directly with those factors as well as taking some time away from the manipulative person if possible. You might also want to ask yourself whether or not you deserve better treatment than what you're getting. If you do, then set boundaries and enforce them consistently. It's also important to realize that manipulation is a sign of weakness on the part of a manipulator. They use manipulation because they don't feel confident enough in themselves to be direct about what they want; thus, don't feel guilty when standing up for yourself. Be aware of your personal limits and know when it's time to walk away from someone who treats you poorly. Most importantly, remember that no one has any right to treat you badly, regardless of who they may be!
The Tactics Manipulators Use
Manipulators are experts at making you think they feel one way while they're actually feeling another. For example, a manipulator may say I want to help you when really they want power over you. It's important to realize that many manipulators aren't doing what they do because they're wrong or because they want you to suffer; instead, their tactics are born out of some pain or insecurity. Once we understand why a person is trying to manipulate us, it becomes easier not only to resist manipulation but also to develop compassion for our manipulator. Here are a few common ways manipulators get inside your head: 1. They act as if they care about you: If someone seems overly interested in how you're doing and acts as he cares about your well-being, he might be manipulating you—or he might just be a good guy who cares about others. The key difference between someone who genuinely cares and someone who wants something from you is that genuine caring doesn't have an agenda attached to it. When someone says I'm here if you need me, take him up on his offer without expecting anything in return—and without assuming he has ulterior motives.